Thu 31 Mar 2016
It is the single most astonishing experience of my life. 4 weeks in and I keep wondering how amazing our bodies are. From growing a little creature inside us, to producing milk and sleeping broken hours we manage to give more love to our family than ever before - even if we are less patient than ever before.
My journey wasn’t extremely easy or difficult. That is if you consider that I underwent surgery (laparoscopy and hysteroscopy) whilst being pregnant. For the record I did not know back then that I was already preganant as the tests (all three of them) came back negative. So much for that. Anyway, the first few weeks after we found out that we were to become parents were quite stressful as I did not know how far along will I be able to carry our baby. It turned out I had a heart shaped uterus with a septate (a muscle wall) going all the way down somewhere in the middle. This meant that I was at a higher risk of miscarriage and a preterm baby.
And then the days started going by and every day I got bigger and bigger - but you know the drill if you have been pregnant, if not, then let me just say what my husband used to tell me every day: “Kate, it is normal to be getting bigger as you are pregnant!” Also, enjoy your boobs as they will never look as good as they do whilst pregnant (even though touching them is a completely different kettle of fish).
Despite all the odds I managed to get to term with Bean. Around the beginning of my second trimester to calm my nerves of never having the same person to talk to when attending various ante natal appointments and being at ends with the whole septate uterus thing we decided to engage with Tina and Nicky from Neighbourhood Midwives which meant that these two amazing women have been part of our lives for the past 7 months. Tina regularly did all the usual ante natal appointents and check ups and they helped me understand my options and my choices (as the NHS simply could not provide me with the same answer twice in a row). I obviosuly understand that the NHS is struggling and I can see that there is simply not enough in the budget to have more midwives, so the Neighbourhood Midwives’ ladies were a lifesaver for me. Tina managed to get me some consultations I desperately needed and on the 3rd of March (week 39 with a full sepatate uterus) Bean was born. And he is just perfect. Apart from the fact that 4 weeks in he still has not gathered that I am not trying to torture him when changing his nappy :)
So where am I right now? It is 4:44pm on a Thursday afternoon and I went for a two hour walk in the morning and after the midday feed Bean is still asleep so I had a long shower (managed to wash my hair and shave here and there!) and now I am having a cup of tea and writing this blog post. I reckon I have another 5 minutes before Bean wakes up and this blog post will have to wait for another 5 days to be finished:)
Realistically, if you are expecting, here is what to expect by week 4: feed around 3:00am - 4:00am then try and fall back to sleep, up again at 7:00am do the same, then realise it is sunny so you’d better make the most of it, go for a walk. Come home and eat whatever you can before baby wakes up for yet another feed (oh and of course I should mention the feed last anything between 15 minutes to 60 minutes plus burping and nappy changing). If you are lucky you managed to sleep roughly 8-9 hours in bits and you don’t feel completely knackered and then you have a shower and have a little sit down. If you are unlucky, you just fall back to bed for the afternoon and try to recover as you need to be ready for the next night. And it is on repeat.
At the moment we try and eat dinner together with my husband which sometimes happens if Bean is asleep or does not decide to make a fuss and cry for an hour or two.
And then it is bedtime. By 7:30pm or 8:00pm latest you are sort of ready for bed and you need to be or you won't make it through the next night.
But, believe it or not, it is all worth it. I know it is the weirdest thing to hear if you have not had a baby yet as why on earth would you do it. And I can tell you why. If this little creature wasn't the cutest and sweetest most innocent thing in the world you would not be able to cope with it. But babies are just tremendously adorable and you will take millions of photos and look at your baby wondering what on earth has happened. And days go into nights and weeks disappear like never before.